Supporting Athlete Mental Health in the Recruiting Process: A Guide for Coaches and Parents

Written By Bradley Bryk

The college recruiting process is not just about athletic performance, it's an emotionally and mentally demanding journey that can deeply affect a young athlete’s sense of identity, worth, and well-being. Behind the highlight reels and scholarship offers, many athletes experience fear, pressure, self-doubt, and burnout. Recognizing and supporting their mental health during this time is critical. Through compassionate guidance, open communication, and space for self-reflection, coaches and parents/guardians can help athletes stay grounded in who they are, not just what they do.

By Annie Morris, M.S., LGPC, NCC – Clinical Mental Health Counselor at BrykMinds

A Deeper Look at the Recruiting Experience

The recruiting process is often framed as a time of opportunity and celebration, it’s also filled with uncertainty, fear of missing out, and a relentless comparison culture. Many athletes are also navigating this process at a developmental stage where identity formation is front and center. Most are still in high school, managing schoolwork, family responsibilities, social dynamics, and often other part-time obligations. The pressure to “get recruited” can distort self-worth and encourage the need for perfection, making athletes believe their value hinges entirely on performance. As a result, it’s no surprise that many report high levels of stress, burnout, or emotional fatigue (NCAA Mental Health Best Practices, 2024).

For many, identity gets wrapped up in being “recruitable.” If athletes don’t get offers right away or as quickly as some of their peers may, it can feel like a failure of who they are, not just what they do. This internalization can lead to anxiety, depression, emotional withdrawal, or burnout (Cosh et al., 2024). Add injuries and intersecting identities, whether related to race, gender, socioeconomic background, sexual identity, or learning differences, and the experience can become even more layered and, at times, feel more isolating. These athletes may face unspoken barriers in the process, leading to feelings of invisibility or added pressure to overperform in order to be seen.

Recognizing the Mental and Emotional Impact

It’s important to remember that mental health struggles don’t always show up in obvious ways. Athletes often mask what they’re feeling (Cosh et al., 2024). Behind the scenes, they may be carrying anxiety about being seen, fears of rejection, and internalized comparison from constant exposure to curated social media profiles of their peers. Parents, coaches, and mentors should keep an eye out for subtle “yellow flags”, changes in demeanor, declining motivation, irritability, or withdrawal. More serious signs, such as panic attacks, expressed hopelessness, or depressive symptoms, signal a need for professional support (Rice et al., 2016; Reardon et al., 2019).

Mental health challenges tend to show up across several domains, and knowing what to look for can help guide your response (Reardon et al., 2019):

  • Behaviorally: Skipping workouts, isolating from teammates, appearing checked out or disengaged.

  • Emotionally: Heightened irritability, sadness, or frustration that seems out of character.

  • Cognitively: Trouble focusing, forgetfulness, struggling to absorb new concepts, or impulsive decision-making.

  • Physically: Increased fatigue, difficulty sleeping, or frequent injuries—often linked to unprocessed stress and anxiety

Early recognition and intentional support can help athletes regain balance and prevent crises. It’s crucial to recognize these mental and emotional stressors as part of the recruiting journey, not as weaknesses, but as signals for care and support.

Tools for Supporting Athletes Through Recruiting 

Coaches Supporting Athletes Who are Being Recruited

If you're a coach walking alongside athletes in the recruiting journey, whether at the club, rec, or high school level, your role is powerful. 

  • Normalize the highs and lows of the process

  • Let athletes know that it's okay to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, or unsure. (These emotions are not signs of weakness, they're human responses to a high-pressure process.)

  • Offer support in shifting focus away from comparison and toward what they can control:

    • Effort

    • Attitude

    • Rest & Recovery

    • How they handle adversity and set backs 

Remind them that setbacks aren’t signs they’ve failed, they’re stepping stones to growth. Above all, empower athletes to lead the process for themselves. Help them name what they want, ask questions, and define what matters to them. It’s their journey.

Coaches Actively Recruiting Athletes 

If you're a coach involved in the recruiting process from the other side, evaluating athletes, how you show up matters. 

  • Set a tone of care and integrity from the first conversation 

  • Use clear, honest, and pressure-free communication

  • Make space for athletes to ask questions and reflect

  • Focus on the whole person, not just the performance metrics

  • Promote a sense of belonging 

  • Respect athlete autonomy 

When athletes feel respected and emotionally safe, they’re more likely to thrive, and more likely to choose programs where they can show up fully as themselves.

Parents/Guardians Supporting Athletes Being Recruited 

If you’re a parent/guardian, your role can feel tricky. It’s easy to get swept up in the intensity of recruiting and tie your hopes to outcomes. 

  • Listen, Listen, … and then Listen more! 

    • Be the calm in the storm

  • Try not to overlay your own stress or pride on your child’s path

  • Let them take the lead, supporting them with logistics, encouragement, and curiosity, not judgment. 

  • Remind them often: they are valuable regardless of how many offers they receive

  • Help them stay grounded in balance. 

    • They’re not just athletes; they’re whole people becoming adults, and they deserve space to grow beyond sport.

Language that Shapes Experience

One of the most impactful tools we can offer is language. The way we talk to athletes shapes how they see themselves. Be mindful of the difference between reinforcing a fixed mindset, “This is your only shot,” “You’re falling behind”, and encouraging a growth mindset:

  • “What can you control today?”

  • “This doesn’t define you.”

  • “What matters most to you right now?”

These small shifts help athletes stay grounded in effort, values, and learning, not just outcomes.

Final Take Aways

Not being the right fit for one school doesn’t mean you aren’t the right fit for your sport. Every program has its own culture, needs, and timeline. A “no” from one coach is not a reflection of your worth. Rejection doesn’t define you.

Ultimately, recruiting is about much more than reaching the next level. It’s about helping athletes stay connected to who they are, what they care about, and how they want to grow. Coaches and parents/guardians are often the first line of support. How you show up, what you say, how you listen, and what space you hold, shapes how athletes see and value themselves. 

Reflection Questions: 

  1. How are we talking about the recruiting process with ourselves and with each other, and what messages are those conversations reinforcing?

  2. Are we staying connected to our values throughout this process, or are we getting pulled into comparison, pressure, or perfection-driven thinking?

  3. What signs might indicate that something is off mentally, emotionally, or physically, and how can we name those signs? 

  4. What does success look like for us beyond scholarships and commitments? How do we define fulfillment, belonging, and growth?

  5. How can we create a process that leaves space for reflection, rerouting, and ownership so that both athletes and coaches feel aligned and supported?

Resources

1. NCAA Mental Health Best Practices (2024)
A foundational guide that outlines how to support student-athlete mental wellness, including early intervention strategies and the roles of coaches and support staff.

2. The Hidden Opponent
A nonprofit organization that elevates student-athlete mental health awareness through personal stories, education, and advocacy, founded by former D1 athlete Victoria Garrick.

3. Positive Coaching Alliance: Mental Health Guide for Coaches
An action-oriented guide offering language, tools, and practical steps for coaches to recognize and respond to athletes’ emotional and mental health needs.

References

Cosh, S., Crabb, S., & Tully, P. J. (2024). Help-seeking among elite athletes: A meta-review of facilitators and barriers to mental health support. Psychology of Sport and Exercise. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2024.102564

NCAA Sport Science Institute. (2024). Mental health best practices: Understanding and supporting student-athlete mental wellness. National Collegiate Athletic Association. https://ncaaorg.s3.amazonaws.com/ssi/mental/SSI_MentalHealthBestPractices.pdf

Reardon, C. L., Hainline, B., Aron, C. M., Baron, D., Baum, A. L., Bindra, A., ... & Engebretsen, L. (2019). Mental health in elite athletes: International Olympic Committee consensus statement. British Journal of Sports Medicine, 53(11), 667–699. https://doi.org/10.1136/bjsports-2019-100715 

Rice, S. M., Purcell, R., De Silva, S., Mawren, D., McGorry, P. D., & Parker, A. G. (2016). The mental health of elite athletes: A narrative systematic review. Sports Medicine, 46(9), 1333–1353. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4996886/

Resources


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Bradley Bryk
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